Save I threw this together on a Wednesday night when the fridge looked sad and I was too tired to think. A video kept popping up on my feed, people smashing cucumbers with their fists and dumping spices on top like it was some kind of produce therapy. It looked chaotic and oddly satisfying. I had two stubby Persian cucumbers rolling around in the crisper and half a rotisserie chicken from the weekend, so I figured why not. The whole thing took less time than scrolling through dinner ideas, and I ended up eating it straight out of the bowl, standing at the counter, feeling weirdly accomplished.
The first time I made this for my roommate, she walked into the kitchen mid-smash and asked if I was okay. I handed her the rolling pin and told her to try it. We ended up taking turns whacking cucumbers and laughing at how unhinged it looked, but the salad came out great and we devoured it in about four minutes. Now whenever one of us has a rough day, we just text cucumber violence and the other one knows to grab the rolling pin and some soy sauce.
Ingredients
- Persian or mini cucumbers: These stay crunchy and dont get watery like regular cucumbers, plus theyre the perfect size for smashing without making a mess.
- Scallions: They add a sharp, fresh bite that balances the richness of the sesame oil and keeps things bright.
- Garlic: Mince it fine so it spreads evenly, raw garlic here is bold and punchy in the best way.
- Rotisserie chicken: Pull off the skin before shredding, it can get rubbery in the dressing and the meat is plenty flavorful on its own.
- Light soy sauce: This is your salt and umami base, go for low sodium if you want more control over the seasoning.
- Rice vinegar: It cuts through the oil and brings a gentle tang that doesnt overpower the cucumbers.
- Toasted sesame oil: A little goes a long way, it smells like a street market and tastes like comfort.
- MSG: Optional but honest, it makes everything taste more like itself, like turning up the volume on flavor.
- Sugar: Just enough to round out the acid and heat, you wont taste sweetness but youll notice if its missing.
- Chili flakes or chili crisp: Adjust based on your mood, I like enough heat to make my nose tingle but not enough to need tissues.
- Toasted sesame seeds: They add texture and a nutty finish, plus they make the whole thing look intentional.
- Fresh cilantro: Totally optional, some people love it and some people think it tastes like soap, no judgment either way.
Instructions
- Smash the cucumbers:
- Lay them on a sturdy cutting board and give them a good whack with a rolling pin or the flat side of your knife until they crack open but dont fall apart completely. The goal is craggy edges that catch the dressing, not cucumber mush.
- Cut into chunks:
- Slice the smashed cucumbers into rough 2-inch pieces on an angle, it looks more interesting on the plate and gives you different textures in each bite.
- Toss with aromatics:
- Throw the cucumbers, scallions, and minced garlic into a big bowl and give them a quick mix so the garlic gets distributed.
- Make the dressing:
- In a small bowl, whisk together soy sauce, rice vinegar, sesame oil, MSG, sugar, and chili flakes until the sugar dissolves. Taste it on a cucumber scrap and adjust if you want more heat or tang.
- Dress and rest:
- Pour the dressing over the cucumber mixture and toss everything with your hands or tongs until every piece is coated. Let it sit for 5 minutes so the cucumbers soften just a touch and soak up the flavors.
- Plate and top:
- Pile the dressed cucumbers onto a serving platter or into shallow bowls, then heap the shredded rotisserie chicken on top. Finish with a generous sprinkle of sesame seeds and cilantro if youre using it, then serve right away while the cucumbers are still cold and crisp.
Save I brought this to a potluck once, mostly because I forgot to plan ahead and needed something fast. People kept asking for the recipe and seemed genuinely shocked when I told them it took 15 minutes and involved hitting vegetables with a stick. One friend ate three servings and then texted me the next day asking if I could teach her how to smash cucumbers properly. It became my signature dish by accident, which is funny because I barely consider it cooking.
How to Pick the Right Cucumbers
Persian cucumbers are stubby, thin-skinned, and almost seedless, which makes them perfect for smashing because they hold their shape without getting mushy. English cucumbers work too, but theyre wetter and you might need to scoop out some of the seeds before smashing. Avoid regular waxy supermarket cucumbers, they taste like water and the skins are too thick and bitter for this kind of dish.
Rotisserie Chicken Shortcuts
I always use rotisserie chicken from the grocery store because it saves time and the seasoning is already done. Pull the meat while its still slightly warm, it shreds easier and stays tender. If you cant find rotisserie, poached chicken breast works fine, just toss it with a tiny bit of soy sauce and sesame oil so it doesnt taste plain next to the cucumbers.
Making It Your Own
This recipe is more of a template than a rulebook, and its forgiving enough to handle whatever you have lying around. I sometimes throw in shredded carrots or thinly sliced radishes for extra crunch, or swap the chicken for shrimp if I feel like it. The dressing ratio stays the same, but the toppings can shift based on whats in the fridge or what sounds good that day.
- Add roasted peanuts or cashews for a richer, nuttier vibe.
- Drizzle with chili crisp oil instead of flakes if you want more texture and garlic flavor.
- Serve it over cold rice noodles or alongside steamed jasmine rice to make it more filling.
Save This salad has become my go-to when I need something that feels like a real meal but doesnt require turning on the stove or thinking too hard. Its crunchy, salty, a little spicy, and somehow always tastes better than the effort it takes to make it.